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Life · Stiles
Major Moments & Minor Thoughts
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I love the writing of Isabel Allende. In 1998 when she published Aphrodite, A Memoir of the Senses, a book that combines artful storytelling and food, I couldn’t resist. As the book jacket describes, Allende takes “a highly personal a charmingly idiosyncratic look at the intertwined sensual arts of food and love.” In the introduction, Allende explains it this way: “The fiftieth year of our life is like the last hour of dusk, when the sun has set and one turns naturally toward reflection. In my case, however, dusk incites me to sin, and perhaps for that reason, in my fiftieth year I find myself reflecting on my relationship with food and eroticism; the weaknesses of the flesh that most tempt me are not, alas, those I have practiced most. I repent of my diets, the delicious dishes rejected out of vanity, as much as I lament the opportunities for making love that I let go by because of pressing tasks or puritanical virtue. Walking through the gardens of memory, I discover that my recollections are associated with the senses.” The first 200 pages of this book are memories, folktales, historical accounts of great loves and great meals, but mostly of great loves sharing great meals. Allende proposed to create a cookbook of aphrodisiacs, recipes compiled and tested by her mother, and serve them to her husband and guests. As she admits, her best successes where when she not only prepared aphrodisiac meals, but told her guests they were being served aphrodisiac meals. When people know you are putting in the effort, they respond in kind. The question in testing this book was never to decide if it was staying or going, but to decide if it would live on the bookshelf or in the kitchen. Is it truly a cookbook, or just a lovely book on sensuality, both physical and edible? Before going into the recipe descriptions, I must admit that I am a romantic. I swoon. I blush. I am easily won over by dashing charm. My husband is not. He is sweet, caring, compassionate, tender, and infinitely practical. I began with a simple hors d’oeuvre called Frivolous Prunes. These were easy to put together on a week night, and my husband and I could munch on them while the kids started on their mac and cheese. They also contain bacon, which to my husband is the most singular of ingredients. They are, simply, pitted prunes stuffed with chopped pistachios soaked in sherry. The prunes are then wrapped in bacon and baked until the bacon is crisp and the prune is soft. They are hot, sweet and succulent. I adored them! Cris was lukewarm. He felt the prunes really distracted from the bacon. Again, not a romantic. Next I tried a simple pasta, Noodles with Artichoke. Marinated artichoke hearts, roasted red peppers, tomatoes and olives are gently heated and mixed into pasta then topped with goat cheese and basil. Allende recommends this dish, “for reconstituting exhausted and ravenous lovers.” My husband’s critical commentary was that it needed more artichoke and less red pepper. Next I made Saffron Shrimp. To me saffron is a heady, luscious ingredient. It smells earthy and rich. It imparts an extravagant golden color to whatever it touches: cheese, rice, one’s fingers. In this dish the saffron is whipped into mascarpone cheese and tossed with warm pasta and shrimp cooked in butter. The dish is lovely to look at and smell. We both liked it, although it was a little subtle for our American palates. I might suggest using goat cheese instead of mascarpone to give a little more tang to the dish. At this point I began to sense that my husband wasn’t as enthralled by this book and recipe testing as I was. I found myself rereading sections, pouring over erotic ingredients, lovingly concocting each recipe. My husband was eating dinner, thoroughly enjoying himself, appreciating my time and effort, but basically eating dinner. I took the opportunity of several nights of his having late meetings to cook for myself. When cooking for myself, I always turn to soups. They had to be quick and easy because I’m making them while preparing kid dinners by myself. I first chose Consommé Bacchus, “so named because it is recommended for restoring well-being after a night on the town and for fortifying lovers at midnight.” Or perhaps for revitalizing a solo parent after a long day with her kids. It calls for beef stock. I don’t keep beef stock in my freezer, and it seemed inappropriate to use anything from a can here so I opted for my famous fowl stock. I make this from all the carcasses of the various birds (duck, chicken, turkey) that are smoked at our annual barbecue. It is very rich, and I think, stands up to beef stock any day. The stock is poured into a pot of onion and garlic sautéed in butter, brought to a boil, topped with sherry and then poured into a warm bowl over a raw egg. This is a classic Italian style soup as well. The egg poaches in the hot broth. When broken open, the golden yolk thickens the soup. I’d never had it before. I also rarely add alcohol to my soups. Why not, on both parts I ask you. This soup was so yummy! I was full. I was satisfied. I was warm and content. I was ready to snuggle with my kids as we read bedtime books. Love has many forms. The next night I made Rise and Walk Soup, “also called Lazarus’s Lifeblood, this is the consommé we use in Chili to cure colds.” Here the stock is mixed with curry powder, Tabasco and sherry and served with rice. Despite the heat, even my daughter liked this soup. It was tasty and cleared my head. I felt invigorated and not so full as to be bogged down. So where does this book end up? I think it lives in the kitchen where all love starts. Our mothers feed us and send us off into the world to feed others. My kitchen, the center of my home, the center of my life, is the place where book bags get dumped, mail piles up, friends congregate and my family eats. Allende says, “…if eroticism is to flourish, stimulating edibles aren’t enough; also essential is an atmosphere where spirits rejoice and there is no place for negative words or melancholy humors.” That place, for me is my kitchen, and that place is where this book belongs. |
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The Complete Caribbean Cookbook The title exudes a lot of hubris for a 157-page book. The full title, The Complete Caribbean Cookbook, Totally Tropical Recipes from the Paradise Islands edited by Beverley Le Blanc sounds even sillier. Like, Totally Tropical, Dude! But I didn’t buy this book for its title. In fact, it’s easy to even miss the fact that it has a title. The cover is resplendent with fresh fruits and vegetables in every color of the rainbow packed tightly around luscious dishes of shrimp and rice. This book always made me think of spring, and I remember using it often. We embarked on rediscovering it before autumn weather makes fresh mangoes hard to find until May. I selected a chicken stew. I love one-pot meals. My family is less fond of them, but when I’m testing a cookbook, pleasing them comes second. (A guilty, but pleasurable result of this project.) I made Stewed Chicken, Trinidad Style. Chicken pieces are baked in spices and veg, browned in a pan and then simmered over a bed of shredded cabbage. Delectable. I admit I’m biased because I love anything with braised cabbage, but this was well worth making again. We gave it a 2.5 We had some lamb chops in the freezer so decided to use them to make Braised Lamb, Puerto Rican Style. I’m not a huge fan of lamb, but when you sauce them with honey, sherry and dark rum, how could they be bad? The answer is, they can’t. For both these recipes it is necessary to take the sauce once the dish is finished and reduce it to intensify the flavors. Cris found it a little bland, but I would work with this recipe again so we gave it a 2. I also threw in an extra recipe. I was reading a recipe that called for boniato, also called patate. This is a white, sweet tuber. As I was walking through the grocery store, I saw some! I had to buy them and make Pain Patate. The boniato is roasted with evaporated milk, coconut milk, sugar, spices, rum and lime zest. It makes a delectable, sweet pudding, not unlike the Thanksgiving favorite of sweet potatoes with mini-marshmallows except that the coconut, rum and spices give this a grown-up taste that brings to mind the cozy part of lying on the beach in hot sun. The dish needed salt for my palate, and it lends itself more to a dessert than a side dish so I give it a 2. Finally, Cris asked me to make a shrimp dish. I don’t like shrimp, but this one looked to pretty to resist, Avocado-Shrimp Boats. A salsa of mango, red onion, bell pepper, jalapeno and lime is tossed with cooked shrimp and served in an avocado half. Really, this dish exemplifies making the most of fresh ingredients – don’t over fuss! Lime and chili is all it takes to bring out the best of mango and shrimp. In order for this dish to work the way it is presented, you need a very ripe, very soft avocado. I also found it difficult to put all the shrimp and salsa I wanted into the small pit-indentation of the avocado. In the future, I would chop the avocado and mix it with the salsa and then serve it all in the emptied avocado shells. This would make a lovely appetizer for a dinner party, or a pretty tray for a buffet. We gave it a 2.5. Some of my other favorites from this book are salads made with hearts of palm and star fruit and a luscious pineapple papaya fool. I will pull this book out whenever I can find fresh ingredients. It’s a cheap and quick trip to the Caribbean without the hassle of airline travel. |
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To paraphrase from a NH State senator speaking yesterday, "The most fundamental human right, and I know you all agree with me, is..."
Before I finish the sentence, tell me what would you answer here? Think about it. Now read on.
The answer is: self-defense.
I’m not sure I would have put that at the top of the list. I might have said something about the right to affordable access to clean drinking water, or maybe the right to live my life and think my thoughts unmolested by people who live and think differently from me, or maybe good old life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
What brings this topic up for discussion is the recent overturn of a gubernatorial veto of the “deadly force” bill. Currently in New Hampshire it is legal to use deadly force when one feels threatened in one’s home. If in a public place, one is to attempt to retreat first. This bill, which was vetoed by the governor, but had its veto overturned by the state senate yesterday, states that if one feels threatened any place, one is legally permitted to resort to deadly force first including in the mall, on the floor of the House, or any other place it is legal in NH to carry a gun.
Now, I’m not commenting for or against this bill. I’m commenting on this senator thinking that we all agree that the right to self-defense is the most fundamental human right.
What kind of a world do we live in when we look at our human condition and feel that the ability to use deadly force against each other in public places trumps all other rights? It trumps freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom against illegal search and seizure.
One could say that it speaks to a world where violence and crime have risen to such heights that the citizenry lives in constant fear for their lives, where violence, or the threat of it, is crippling, a world where citizens will put safety over any other right they possess.
I think it speaks to the exact opposite. I think it speaks to a world of such safety, such permissiveness that the citizens forget that those other rights are things that even need protecting.
I’m pretty sure that the rebels in Libya weren’t shooting people in the streets to win the fundamental right to shoot people in the streets. I think they wanted something else there.
We’re a little bit spoiled in the United States. US Citizens of the 21st century (who were born here, at least) have never lived in a country that told them they couldn’t travel as they wished, or practice the profession that they chose, or own property, or practice religion.
What I’m saying is that language matters. The right to self-defense is important, but it doesn’t trump everything else, and we shouldn’t say it does just because we want to sound important or persuade someone else to our ideas. When we minimize the freedoms that aren’t threatened, we make it easier for them to BE threatened.
This bill will go before the NH House where, most likely, the veto will be overturned and it will become law. I’m not terribly concerned because I don’t believe that our current self-defense law has been what has kept New Hampshirites from shooting each other in the streets. Saying that this law will so drastically affect our safety is equally false hyperbole.
I am concerned that our other freedoms, freedom of speech in particular, seem to be so easily forgotten or pushed aside in recent years. The New Hampshire motto, “Live Free, or Die,” seems harsh and violent, but despite attempts over time to change it to something innocuous life, “You have a friend in Pennsylvania,” or “Virginia is for lovers,” we stand behind it because it hearkens back to a day when our rights weren’t so secure. It reminds us that our most fundamental human right, and I know you all agree with me, is freedom. |
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I love the planet. I also love seafood. The New England Aquarium has spent the last two years trying to teach me how to do both. Sustainable seafood is a sensible concept. Seek out seafood that is raised, caught or harvested in a way that allows the species to flourish and does as little collateral damage as possible to the surrounding species and environment. At the moment it’s hard to
do because sustainable seafood isn’t available in large quantities at the retail level, but it’s not impossible either.
Enter Barton Seaver and his lovely cookbook, For Cod and Country, simple, delicious, sustainable cooking. We were introduced to Chef Seaver at the Aquarium during their World Oceans Day, and we had the opportunity to taste about five of the dishes from the book.
We weren’t intending to purchase it, but the tastings were SO GOOD.
Seaver isn’t preachy, but he is honest about how our seafood choices affect the planet. He believes in eating seafood and considers it one of the better protein choices, which is refreshing. Most food vs. the environment books seem to me to promote breatharianism. “Food is bad. Shame on you for enjoying it!” Seaver takes a different approach:
So why eat seafood at all, you might ask? Because if we don’t, then we will lose a vital and necessary part of our diet. We would put even more hardworking communities out of work. We would lose control over the fisheries that we do have a chance to manage well. We would lose our chance to encourage the restoration of ecosystems. The compelling narrative of conservation is a story of responsible consumption.
So let’s see what responsible consumption means to Chef Seaver.
C is quite in love with this book and spent several nights reading it from cover to cover. He dove in to the recipes first and came out with Smoked Sardines with Mixed Greens. It’s rare that a prominent chef will condescend to using canned fish. I’ve seen Food Network hosts scoff at it. Seaver points out, however, that fish like sardines, which are short-lived, prolific and harvested from well-managed fisheries, are excellent choices in terms of sustainability, health and flavor. I’d never in my life eaten a sardine. I was sure this meal wasn’t going to be pretty. I try to model good eating behavior for my kids, and since I don’t allow them to spit food out at the table, I was going to have to hold myself to the same standard. How is it that a woman who smokes almost every protein imaginable is squeamish of a little smoked fish? As my daughter would say, “Silly Mommy!” Silly indeed. This salad of mixed greens, roasted red peppers and olives is dressed with a bright lemon/fig dressing. The sardines were smoky and delicate. The whole thing came together in a flash and was absolutely delectable. We gave it a 3.
The next dish C made also used canned fish, Pink Salmon and Basil Salad. This time it was canned salmon. Recipes using canned fish are nice because they are pantry meals and can be thrown together quickly and cheaply. It’s nice to have some alternatives to canned tuna. Salmon isn’t my favorite fish when fresh. I find its flavor very strong. Canned salmon, however, is mild. This salad has just six ingredients: salmon, fennel, basil, salt, lemon and olive oil. How simple, how yummy! I felt like we were sitting in Greece as the flavors of fennel, basil and lemon combined so well with the fish and olive oil. We again gave it a 3.
We had some left-over smoked sardines so C looked through the book for something to do with them. He found Avocado-Dill Soup with Smoked Trout. Obviously, we made it with smoked sardines instead of trout, but this dish is truly inspired. Luscious creamy avocados are blended with dill and lime to make a soup that can stand on its own. Add to it the salty, smoky fish and this dish rises to new and impressive heights. I love a cold soup on a hot summer day, and this one is a real winner. Another 3.
For my dish I chose Tilapia with Ginger Glaze. Following an old-fashioned New England tradition, the recipe coats the fish in a mayonnaise seasoned with soy, lemon and ginger and broils for six minutes. How simple! In less time than it took me to get my kids to the table with washed hands, I was able to put this dish together from start to finish. I was skeptical thinking the mayonnaise would make the light tilapia greasy, but it didn’t at all. The dish was light and fresh. The ginger and lemon made it perky. It also looked very pretty, all covered in a thin white coat. I would serve this dish to company. Clearly a 3.
Well, we’ve come upon our first perfectly rated cookbook. Other than swapping the type of fish used to accommodate what we had on hand, we couldn’t think of ways to tweak these dishes to make them better. We were just stunned.
For Chef Seaver responsible consumption isn’t restrictive or boring. Food is meant to sustain us both physically and spiritually. We should love what we eat and prepare it lovingly. His book teaches techniques like how to learn to season food and how to shuck oysters. It’s also filled with heart-felt stories about food encounters that remind us that we come together over meals to share our lives with people. Seaver is always mindfull, however, that while we love what we eat and with whom we eat it, we also need to love the oceans that provide it. “Eat with joy so that we may continue to partake in the bounty of the seas. You can save the world by eating an oyster, so get to it.” And so we shall.
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Things I never knew about boys I guess I should begin with an explanation. My mother was an only child. I have one sister. Boys had cooties. Needless to say I knew very little about boys before I had one. I guess my dad qualifies as a boy, and perhaps he regaled us from time to time with stories of his childhood, but with three women in the house, I honestly don’t think my dad had the opportunity to talk much. If he did, I’m pretty sure we weren’t listening. So here are a few things I’ve learned about and from boys. Toss Across is a war game. The Xs are the “bad guys” and the Os are the “good guys” and bksh, bksh (sounds of things blowing up). Tiles spin. Things die. Someone wins. Every object longer than it is wide is not a phallic symbol. It is a gun. Guns are used to shoot “bad guys” and then the “bad guys” die a horrible death. From the age of two, boys know it is better to crash cars than to race them. The phrase, “Oh, no, Ahhh!” must always be yelled before hurtling yourself facedown the stares in a pratfall. Boys are brave enough to close themselves into a dark closet so they can hit two rocks together that spark, but afraid enough not to be able to go upstairs by themselves to retrieve their shoes. It always bothered me that in Narnia the talking animals eat the non-talking animals. Boys clearly see the distinction. It is not that hard to draw Pokemon. Boys can throw a tennis ball through an 8-inch ring, but can’t make all their pee go into the toilet. Bugs are cool especially if you catch them yourself. Ant farms are wicked cool. My journey into the World of Boyhood is just begun. I look forward to many more boyisms. Thank you, David, for introducing me to this wonderful new place.
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The Party’s Over John Hadamuscin’s Enchanted Evenings, Dinners, Supers, Picnics & Parties Dear John, Your book is absolutely lovely. Each meal is sumptuously laid out on exquisite tables. Candles, china, flowers and varied locations bring to life not only the food, but the feeling of intimate gatherings and warm parties. This book makes me wish not only that you would cook forme, but also that you were my friend and would invite me to your house. The photography of Randy O’Rourke is the highlight of this book. This was another cookbook gift. One of my dearest friends and constant companion when I first graduated college inscribed inside it, “Most people would sit and dream of making these ‘things’ happen. You could really do it!” I’ve treasured this gift, and have one stand-out recipe from it: a cranberry tart that is easy, delicious and exquisitely beautiful. Oddly, I’ve made very few other things from it. It was time. I started with another dessert. I was throwing a party for some ladies and made Tiny Upside-Down Orange-Coconut Cupcakes. They looked extremely pretty in the book. They were a little cumbersome to make. Ingredients are added in layers to mini-muffin tins. Each mini must be carefully turned out of its tin so as not to knock off the lovely layers when it’s cooked. Mine were not as pretty, and I was disappointed in the flavor. I wanted more of an orangey-pop in my mouth, but they were just ok. I give this a 1. C selected Steamed Root Vegetables and Brussels Sprouts with Wild Mushroom Butter. This dish is true simplicity. Various kinds of root vegetables are steamed separately. This allows each to be steamed to just the right doneness. This was not as cumbersome as it might seem. One pot of water, one steamer insert, several batches of veg. The dressing is reconstituted dried mushrooms and shallot sautéed in butter. Nothing complicated. No crazy flavors. This dish had great vegetable flavor. It could use more mushroom flavor so I might add more next time. Really, some of the best dishes involve simple flavors and simple cooking methods. Sometimes, you just have to get out of the way and let the food shine. We gave it a 2.5. Lastly, we made Ries’s Dutch Brown Bean Soup. Described as a “Simple soup with a surprisingly rich and complex flavor,” this soup has a long ingredient list. Pinto beans and bacon are the base adding turnip, carrot, potatoes, leeks for a hearty middle and savory, nutmeg and ginger as the top notes. Smoked sausage is added at the end. Why? Did you think it wasn’t filling enough? It is, trust me. This soup is heavy! The light seasoning of ginger and savory are completely lost. It was hard to finish a whole bowl. The thick texture even became hard to swallow. I served it with its suggested pairing: Triple-Grain Brown Bread. Mostly I made this bread because my farm share had delivered bags of oatmeal, cornmeal and whole wheat flour, and I hoped this recipe might be the answer to using all three. Sorry, no such luck. According to the book, this recipe should create a bread with a grainy texture to compliment the smooth soup. What it created was a dense, chewy and heavy bread. Really, a heavy bread is not what a heavy soup needs. We spent several days staring at the leftovers in the frig, loath to dive into this meal a second time. We give it a 0. How incredibly disappointing! This book is like a beautiful but shallow person. You can’t help but fall in love until you realize that underneath the lovely exterior, there’s not much worth there. I’m sorry, John, but I’m afraid I’m breaking up with you. |
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The cookbook I picked this week is Street Food by Rose Grant. It is a thin paperback book published back in 1988, and I may have had it almost that long. As one might guess from the title, it contains over 100 recipes of food sold from vending carts and stands from around the world. It is filled with interesting little stories about street vendors and their specialties, and atypical of most of my cookbooks, has no pretty photographs in it. I bought this cookbook because the subject enticed me, but I don’t think I ever cooked from it. More’s the pity because when we finally pulled it from the shelves some 20 years later, we find it a delightful and enticing book. It is organized not by geographic region, but by delivery mechanism. That is, things on sticks, things in buns, things encased in dough, etc. It’s fun to read a chapter and notice how different cuisines adapt recipes to the same style of cooking. Thumbing through its pages made me long for a vacation to somewhere else and made me fondly remember my personal encounters with street food: Italian sausages on first night in Boston, pickled herring for breakfast and frittes for lunch in Amsterdam, funnel cakes in Pennsylvania, gelato in Italy, tappas in Spain. Every memory is a taste of rubbing elbows with a local culture. Restaurants may cater to tourists, but the people eat on the streets. I started with a recipe for Chinese Noodle Soup. I love oriental noodle soups from pho to ramen. I was excited to think that home-made noodle soup might be within reach on any cold evening. One would think that sprucing up tasty chicken broth and egg noodles with mushrooms, soy sauce, bamboo shoots and peanut oil would make a perfect bowl, but the truth was that it produced a bland taste that detracted from the original plain broth. We gave this dish a 1. Since I had allowed this book to languish on my shelves for 20 years, I decided to make amends to another languishing object. Over 8 years ago I registered for and received bamboo steamers for our wedding. I had never taken them out of the box. I selected a recipe for Cantonese Dumplings. These are similar to the Chinese shu mai, but are all shrimp instead of a pork/shrimp mixture. I am not a huge fan of shrimp. In fact, I don’t think I realized that the recipe contained no other meat when I selected it. I didn’t start with high hopes, and I was already begrudging all the work of hand-making dumplings I wasn’t going to enjoy. Oh, me of little faith! These were not at all cumbersome. The filling goes together easily in a food processor. Wonton wrappers are available at the local grocery store, and stuffing them was easy. They steamed perfectly, although it took a little longer than the recipe claimed. Rose serves them without a dipping sauce, but I concocted a quick dip of soy sauce, rice vinegar, sesame oil and hot sauce. These little bites were awesome, and we’ve made them twice already: once as a main course and once for a finger-food party. This dish rates a 3. Lastly, Cris picked chicken on a stick, specifically Satay Ajam with Katjang Saos. Seriously, who doesn’t love meat on a stick? These little bites were marinated in lime, molasses, soy and cilantro and dipped in a spicy peanut ginger sauce. Both the marinade and the sauce were too salty, but that was our only complaint. The allure of the stick was fun, and if it hadn’t been winter and we could have thrown them on the grill, the stick would be preferred, but for an indoor application, I would just stir fry the chicken in the future. Cutting back on the soy and using low sodium soy sauce will help with the saltiness, then these little gems should be pretty perfect. We give the dish a 2.5. The book averages a 2.17 which means it stays. I am glad. I’m not sure that Rose Grant gives us the best version of any of these recipes. In fact, I’m sure more authentic versions can be found with little effort on line, but seeing them all side-by-side makes you long for vacations spent walking foreign city streets and entices you to dive into the local culture whether it is in some far off country or your own town. |
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Lest you think I’ve completely forgotten about my cookbook challenge, let me explain that I have been cooking out of several cookbooks at once so have not hit the three recipes from any one, but am very close to finishing up with several. Just to refresh you on the recipe rating scale: 0=Ugh, why bother! Yucky flavors or yucky technique 1=not worth the end product. Either too complicated or expensive for the end result which is only mediocre. 2=needs tweaking, but worth trying again 3=awesome dish A book needs an average of 2 or greater to stay. This cookbook was selected for entertaining. It is Cocktail Food, 50 finger foods with attitude. We wanted some good snack food for the Superbowl, and this month’s supper club theme was finger food. I pulled this book out of a box I had almost forgotten about, we dusted it off and dove in. That is to say that C dove in. He made all of the recipes we tested. I remember cooking from this little gem back in my single days when entertaining meant cocktails and silver trays of neat hors d’oeuvres, not chicken nuggets and mac-n-cheese. I didn’t write in this book so I had no idea what I’d made before. The book is meant as a guide to planning a cocktail party and starts with lots of good advice on how much food and alcohol to plan on. It divides the food up into three sections, bold flavors for high-alcohol drinks, balanced food for a range of drinks, and light flavors for lighter wines an aperitifs. It’s an interesting and affective way to think about food and drink pairings. For Superbowl Sunday, C made three little lovelies: Trout Tassies, Wonton Wonders and Spear Ecstasy. Trout Tassies are made of a smoked trout salad on cucumber slices. C rose to the occasion and smoked his own fish. We used cod because we had some fresh caught in the freezer. The salad is sturdy with just enough cream cheese to hold it together and is seasoned with lemon zest, horseradish and dill. The cucumber slices are refreshing and light compared to a piece of bread or cracker, and the wet saltiness of the fresh cucumber keeps the intense flavor of the fish from overpowering the tongue. The flavors are bold and smoky. I was expecting to find it a little strong and thought the smoked fish would linger on my palate, but the cucumber cleanses and leaves you wanting another. We rated this dish a 2.5. The Wonton Wonders are the tiniest little bit of baked wonton. A wonton wrapper is cut into quarters and baked in mini-muffin tins so that the corners just turn up a little. The filling is a peanut-curry chicken salad which pairs a delightfully spicy green curry paste and a tart and sweet Major Grey’s chutney. I was blown away by the flavors and by the ease of this dish. Of all the recipes we tried, this one sounded cumbersome – cutting and baking wonton wrappers, etc. Really, it was remarkably easy and well worth the little bit of effort. This dish was a 3. I am a huge fan of unconventional crudités, and Spear Ecstasy doesn’t disappoint. Lovely asparagus spears are served standing up in a tall glass with a smaller glass of tarragon dipping sauce below. The dipping sauce is sour cream flavored with lemon, capers, tarragon and onion powder. The beautiful green asparagus made the table look healthy, and we set them next to the nachos for balance. French Tarragon is one of those remarkable herbs, not unlike Italian basil, which pairs so well with acid or fat, light flavors or bold. Here it compliments the asparagus without overpowering it. We liked this dish so much we made it for the supper club, too, but we cut down on the lemon juice by half. We found the amount of juice made it just a little too tart. A definite 2.5. Lastly, C also made another exotic vegetable for the supper club, Leaves of Glory. This lovely presentation is a plate of artichoke leaves, each one cupping a dollop of Parmesan-basil mayonnaise. C perked up the flavor even more by cutting the mayo in half and substituting with an equal amount of sour cream. This made the aioli a little looser, but added a slight tang which resonated well with the other flavors. We give this dish a 2.5 only because we did tweak it from the original. An average of 2.625 – a keeper! What I love about this book is the ease with which all these hors d’oeuvres come together. Nothing is fussy or complicated. None of the ingredients require mail order to a specialty food emporium. The average person really can entertain this way. Although small, this book is one that I’m sure we’ll return to again and again. Making even one of the finger foods to serve the adults when friends bring their kids over for mac-n-cheese will remind us all that our palates are still refined and deserve to be treated with dignity. |
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The week before Christmas my high school sent me a letter. I almost didn’t open it. I don’t live in town anymore so I can’t attend events, and I’d already given to the annual fund. I did open it and was met with this shocker: My freshman homeroom teacher, a Jesuit priest now retired to the Maryland Diocese, is under investigation for sexual misconduct following a "credible allegation from an adult female who contacted the Jesuits in 2008 regarding an abusive incident she suffered as a young girl in Scranton in 1963.” I was shocked. This man was a mentor of mine. He was a great teacher and always very supportive of me. I never observed any inappropriate behaviors in school. He’s a lovely, funny man with whom I’ve exchanged Christmas cards since I graduated in 1989. I never doubt the victim until evidence proves otherwise, but my initial thoughts were, was this sexual abuse or misconduct? 1963 was a long time ago. What was the age gap? Was this less child molestation and more a young man acting inappropriately? I wanted to give Fr. McLaughlin the benefit of some kind of doubt. Then the other shoe dropped. The letter informed me that Fr. M is cooperating with the investigation, and “he has disclosed that there may be other victims of similar sexual misconduct in the Diocese of Scranton.” To their credit the Maryland Diocese is not sweeping this away. They had this letter sent to every student at both the high school and the college where he taught who was enrolled during his years of tenure and also had it printed in every church bulletin in the Scranton Diocese with instructions that anyone with information should first contact the local law enforcement and then contact them, but that’s not really the point. The point is that I knew this man. I liked him. I still like him. He was nice to me. We have a good relationship. Does that all fall apart and go away because he’s done something I find reprehensible, or can a relationship be salvaged. “I don’t know what to do,” I said to my husband. “Well for starters,” he replied, “you’ll stop sending him photos of our children every Christmas.” Point taken. So I remove him from my Christmas card list. Like Pharaoh chipping the name of Moses off of every column and obelisk, I highlight the address line in my Excel spread sheet and click delete. Of course, erasing someone from your life doesn’t erase him from your memory, and I am now confronted with the cruel reality that people are not comic book characters. Superheroes and villains fit neatly into categories. Cowboys wore hats of white or black. John Wayne never kicks a puppy. Lex Luthor isn’t even nice to his mother. I am bemusedly reminded of the Clarence Thomas hearings when a string of women were brought to testify that Thomas never sexually harassed them as if that somehow proved that he never harassed anyone. I now could be one of those women called upon as a character witness for a man whose reputation until three weeks ago I would have defended as being perfect. I’m not disappointed, really. I don’t feel like he let me down in some way because I don’t idolize my heroes like that. I mourn for a friendship lost, for lives ruined and for a realization newly confronted that people can never truly know each other.
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My son plays soccer at the Y. By that I mean that he is in a class for 4 to 6-year-olds that meets once a week. There are no practices, no games, no uniforms. They do drills, work on skills, play games with the soccer ball and occasionally have a “scrimmage.” They run a lot and cheer a lot. The classes run in 6 to 8 week sessions during the school year. Last Sunday was the end of the first session. My son came home with a little trophy. My first thought was this: He’s going to be in three or four sessions of soccer at the Y a year for two or three years. That’s up to 16 junky little trophies I have to find a place to display in my already dusty and cluttered house. But I put on a good face. This is his first foray into team sports, and without bragging, I can say that he shows some potential in soccer. He’s pretty adept at starting and stopping the ball with his feet and keeping it relatively close to him as he moves. I really want to encourage him so I oohed and ahhed over the trophy. “Wow, how neat!” I said. “I’m really proud of you.” “It wasn’t for winning,” he told me. “No,” I admitted. “It was for showing team spirit and good participation.” “Not really,” he replied, “Everyone got one.” So to quote Dash from the Incredibles, “Saying everyone is special is the same as saying no one is.” There are two things I want my son to learn from team sports. One is that friendly competition is healthy. Two is that it doesn’t matter if you win or lose as long as you play fair and have fun. While I believe he is learning these things in the class, it seems neither of these things got across in the presentation of the trophy. I understand the reason for such trophies especially for this age group, but using victory tokens to award participation is missing the mark. If they wanted to encourage this group and create enthusiasm for the sport, there are so many other things they could have done. Here is my list of suggestions: • Have the coach give a speech to the parents about how great the kids were as a class, then have the coach take the time to kneel down, look each child in the eye and say, “You did a good job.” • Give a t-shirt. A t-shirt isn’t a victory award, but it is a gift with which kids are thrilled. They can wear it to tell the world they play soccer. • Give out one of the little soccer balls like they use in practice. This will encourage them to play at home. • Don’t give out any prizes. Say, “Thanks for playing. I hope you’ll join us for next session.” Really, do kids need a prize for everything they do? I understand the reasons behind giving out victory tokens like trophies for participation. We want to encourage self-esteem, participation, enthusiasm and repeat performance. We mothers dread the day that our children go out into the world and start comparing themselves with others. Joe is taller than I am. Bill is faster than I am. Frank is smarter than I am. We secretly hope that our child will be the one to be the best, but we know it won’t always be true so we secretly hope there will be one thing in which our child will be superlative. Giving out meaningless awards, however, doesn’t make our children great, and we’re not fooling anyone when we do it. It’s really hard as a mom to comfort a child who has lost in competition. It’s also really hard to bolster a child who has just realized that his award is meaningless. |
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